BY: The Reverend Doctor Automechanic Leroy Jackson Pimp Daddy, M.D.


The 1st Demandment:

When dippin' into tha sacremental fortified wine, paid fo' and implemented by dis sanctified institution, it's best not to let me catch yo' ass lest I bust a cap in it.

The 2nd Demandment:

Upon nonpayment of official church dues, all efforts will be made to come to yo' crib and bust a cap into yo' fat, greasy momma. You be next, sucka.

The 3rd Demandment (also called the Self-Improvement Demandment):

Whenever possible, buy yo' sef some new threads.

The 4th Demandment:

If caught smoking chronic in church, you best pass it' round and make sho' you brought 'nuff fo' EVERYBODY. Make DAMN sho' it passes by the Reverend Doctor Automechanic Leroy Jackson Pimp Daddy M.D. or else dey's gonna be some SERIOUS cap bustin'.

The 5th Demandment (also called the Humility Demandment):

Ax not fo' whom da cap busts, it busts fo' dee...

The 6th Demandment (also called the Secret to Love):

Find yo' sef some fine lookin' honey and slap her silly 'till she agrees to be yo' woman.

The 7th Demandment:

Ax not what da Church of Gubmentology can do fo' you, ax what it's gonna do TO YOU if you don't pay up, sucka!

The 8th Demandment (also called the Call to Prudence):

A pimp-slap in time saves you from bustin' out wit yo' nine.

The 9th Demandment:

Don't be tryin' to punk me. If I think you be punkin' me, you gonna be givin' props to mista millimeter. Don't be creepin' me either. Damn! Boy, I'll pistol whip yo' ass.

The Tenth Demandment:

If I catch you pimpin' in dem swap meet threads, I don't know you. Got that? You see, the P.D. M.D. can't be seen wit no hood- rat-catchin'-buckwheat-lookin'-chump. I just ain't that kinda negro. At least go and STEAL yo' sef some decent clothes.

The Eleventh Demandment:

When I say "Gimme a fonky base line", you best gimme a fonky base line. Make it go summin' like dis- Dooom de doom doom biddy dooom de doom doom. You know, Old School. Owww! AWWWRIIIIGHT! It could be anywhere. Sometimes I like to bust a few rhymes before supper or walkin' down the street. If you all that, maybe I take you home fo' when I sing in tha shower. I be like Marvin Gaye... "when I git dat feelin', I needs sexual healin'".

The Twelfth Demandment:

Never ax why there be 12 Ten Demandments. I git sick a' sucka's axin' me dat. You so good wit numbas, let the Reverend Docta give ya a lil' maaaath problem. I gots fifteen rounds in my clip. I bust a cap in yo' mamma. I bust another cap in yo' sista while she ridin' my jock. I gat yo daddy when his punk ass run fo' da door. How many other of yo family do I has to smoke before you stop gittin' smart wit me, foo?


schmokin' dAT POT... Feelin' fine....

Vice President Al Gore Communin' Wit Naaatcha!

Photo of Vice President Gore provided by the "First Page" at .