CAPTION: Bill Clinton indulging in the sweet, forbidden fruit of crack cocaine with Stalin (right) and Hitler (left) at the 1939 signing of the Nazi-Soviet Pact. The president traveled back in time especially for this auspicious occasion. Here he is shown being sworn in by Oliver Cromwell into the Evil Tyrant Hall of Fame, but Willy smoked so much crack with the two despots that he needs his mommy right now.

A Little More About Governmentology

Hello and welcome to the First Online Church of Governmentology. As you can see, we are a relatively new religion. We cater to up and coming young professionals, affluent retirees, and even young adults with large, discretionary trust funds. If you are none of these, don't worry: Governmentology has a place for everyone.

Now you might ask, "Why should I join a thriving, cosmopolitan, spiritual movement like Governmentology when it will only result in sure success and inner contentment?". That's a very good question. Certainly, there are some who will tell you that it's best be a hopeless loser, wander around aimlessly through life, and never live up to your full potential. We're not those people. We take the unconventional stance that life is for living, and that it is a good thing to be happy.

Who joins Governmentology? Everyone, eventually. But just for illustrative purposes, let me give you an example of the average Governmentology convert:

John Q. Techie has just graduated from an ivy league university and now works as a system administrator in a Fortune 500 company. He makes six figures a year, but has no friends. John is a sad, lonely, but very bright and successful young man. He did everything he wanted to do, beat all of his challenges, and scored in the top percentile of every standardized test he ever took. Unfortunately, nobody loves him. In his heart is a spiritual void, a void which must be filled. Sure, John can fill it with all sorts of other things, like alcohol, illegal drugs, automatic weapons, and violent racism. We, however, offer John Q. Techie another solution. Governmentology. After John signs away all of his past, present, and future earnings to our church, he will be led on an exciting, new, and adventurous career in Governmentology. Soon, the motivational skills imbued by Governmentology discipline will enable him to rise to the top of his corporation and secure it's assets for the good of humanity (us).

This could be you! Mail us today for your FREE Governmentology Unwanted Solicitation Letter.

Please feel free to browse the rest of our site which comprises but a measly portion of our church's doctrine. 


The Story of Governmentology

Sega Genesis 24:7