Governmentology.

In a word, governmentology works. Put simply, governmentology is the study of government and it's direct application to life's many problems. There is no problem which the correct application of government cannot solve. After all, the government can put a man on the moon and control the economy. With the power of governmentology (called gov'tology for short), ordinary people can regain full control of their lives and many, many other things.

The primal theory behind governmentology is the innate need for humans to attain a sense of moral certitude, a clean conscience if you will. As we all know, the law determines what is right or wrong in society. Once something has been deemed legal, it is no longer immoral. However, most people do not follow the law every second of their lives. This leads to certain stoppages in their mental flow, a kind of subconscious constipation. People want to do the right thing, but somehow cannot.

Gov'tology can change all of this. Primarily, gov'tology is a science of the mind. We use hypnotherapy and galvanic skin responses to determine past blockages of illegal activity which cloud the conscience. Once these are found, they are resolved, absolved, or otherwise made right with society. Govt'ology does not believe in prisons, the death penalty, or any other form of punitive measure. We do, however, believe in the traditional concept of repaying society for crime. We use "community service" allotments as both a sort of penance and as a means of therapy.

Why become a governmentologist? The state and the individual have an inherent, familial type bond which goes untapped in 99% of the population. With the aid of the government, the mandated might of the American people, almost anything is possible. When properly "unindighted" of illegal impulses, the average citizen can achieve supernormal reading comprehension, mathematical, and creative abilities. Yet, so many people are not right with their government. They need a system, a support network of personel and institutions specially in tune with their needs. If there is an individual who is too out of sync with our system, then any humanly conceivable method will be used to bring him back into line with governmentology. You see, Gov'tology exists to help people- and so make the world a better, saner place.

The founder of Governmentology, the prodigious Reverend Doctor Automechanic Leroy Jackson Pimp Daddy M.D., has spent almost a fifth of a century researching the inner paths of the self- indulgent mind while sippin' 40s, chillin', illin', and held up in "lockdown". From the Fifth Ward Church of Governmentology, the good Reverend Doctor Automechanic preaches his gospel and so enlightens us with his wisdom, wit, and mirth. His main accomplishments include the national near Best Seller, "Governmentology: A New Slant On Freedom" and the Ten Demandments of Better Living Through Governmentology. The Ten Demandments are as humorous as they are insightful, displaying at first glance both the benevolence and unshakable spiritual integrity of the Rev. Dr. Automechanic Leroy Jackson Pimp Daddy M.D.